Loving the Unlovable: Embracing God’s Call to Show Grace
Loving those who are easy to love feels natural (sometimes lol) — your family, close friends, and people who treat you with kindness. But what about those who challenge your patience, hurt you, or seem impossible to connect with? We've all had at least one of those in our lives... and if you haven't, consider yourself blessed. However, as believers, we are called to love everyone — not just when it's easy, but especially when it's difficult.
I can’t write this without admitting that I’ve been the difficult one before. There were seasons in my life when I was overwhelmed by fear, insecurity, and doubt. I pushed people away, convinced that if they got too close, they’d see my flaws and leave. Instead of letting others in, I built walls to protect myself — but those walls also blocked love from getting through.
Looking back, I’m incredibly grateful for the people who didn’t give up on me — those who showed me the love of Christ when I wasn’t easy to love (you know who you are). They prayed for me, encouraged me, and reminded me of God’s truth. Their love softened my heart, and now I strive to offer that same grace in return.
Jesus made it clear that love is not optional for His followers. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus says:
"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
Notice that Jesus didn’t say to “ignore” your enemies or “tolerate” them — He said to love them. This kind of love isn’t based on emotions; it’s a choice to reflect God’s mercy, even when we don’t feel like it.
In Luke 6:32-36, Jesus reminds us that loving those who are easy to love isn’t remarkable — even unbelievers do that. But when we choose to love those who challenge us, we reflect God's heart.
"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."
We have all came across a similar question: Why is it so hard to love some people?
Difficult people can stir up feelings of frustration, anger, or even resentment. Maybe they’ve hurt you, betrayed your trust, been disrespectful, or seem impossible to understand. Loving them feels unfair — yet that’s exactly what God asks of us.
Why? Because love transforms. When we extend grace, we reflect Christ's love — the same love that met us when we were far from Him. Loving someone who's unloveable says more about us than about them.
Romans 5:8 reminds us:
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
If Jesus could love us in our brokenness, surely we can choose to extend that love to others.
So, what are practical ways to love the hard-to-love?
- Pray for Them — Ask God to soften your heart and bless that person. Prayer may not change them right away, but it will begin to change your heart. I often think, if I'm not allowing God to mutually work on my heart, then I'm just as guilty.
- Show Kindness — Small acts of kindness — a smile, a note of encouragement, or a simple "How can I pray for you?" — can break down walls.
- Establish Healthy Boundaries — Loving someone doesn’t mean allowing unhealthy behavior to continue. Boundaries protect your heart while still leaving room for grace.
- Forgive, Even When It’s Hard — Forgiveness isn’t excusing bad behavior; it’s releasing your grip on bitterness and trusting God with justice. You can love people from far away some times too, if that's what God has called for. Forgiveness doesn't always mean access back into your life, but it does mean healing, for both parties.
Choosing to love those who are difficult isn’t easy — but it’s powerful. It’s in these moments that we shine the brightest as believers. Our love isn’t just a reflection of who we are — it’s a reflection of who He is.
If there’s someone in your life who feels hard to love, ask God for strength to see them through His eyes. His grace is enough to soften even the hardest of hearts — starting with ours.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." — 1 Peter 4:8